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A Treasury of Texas Sayings

by Bill Cannon

Chapter 1 Introduction To Texas Sayings

     The so-called “Texas twang” that identifies Texas talk is not the only verbal fingerprint that identifies us Texans to those with whom we speak. There are hundreds of colloquial words and phrases and, more strikingly, Texas sayings that graphically and colorfully embody the very soul and spirit of the people who inhabit the Lone Star State. What you are about to read is a sampling of these linguistic jewels that will help you translate the language that we Texans have developed over the many decades following the arrival of the first adventurous settlers.
     Crazy as a bedbug. I had barely started a mental inventory of colloquial sayings used by my parents when this uncomplimentary description of someone sprang to the top of my list. The louse known as a bedbug was persona non grata in all Texas households, ranking right along the boll weevil when it came to popularity contests. I knew the bedbug could drive its victims crazy, but I didn’t know why we sometimes ridiculed an individual by saying that he was “crazy as a bedbug.” According to Why Do We Say It, this saying owes its origin to the almost insane antics of a bedbug crawling around on a mattress. Its motions are zigzag, its direction uncertain. Thus, it would appear that the bedbug’s “craziness” was more along the lines of unpredictability rather than dementia. You may want to consider this meaning the next time you’re thinking about calling someone “crazy as a bedbug!” “Unpredictable” certainly seems somewhat kinder than inferring that someone is demented.
     Get her dander up. What, pray tell, is dander, I often wondered. I knew, or at least assumed, the saying meant “to make someone angry.” For once, my research proved me correct. According to Dictionary of Word Origins by Jordan Almond, “When a dog or cat gets angry or alarmed, the hair on its back will stand up.” So, too, by analogy, will a person’s! And when he is thoroughly aroused, according to this humorous saying, his dandruff will stand up too, for dander is merely dandruff.
     Chew the rag. “She stopped and chewed the rag for over an hour.” “The rag,” in a literary sense, means the tongue. It is, I learned, sometimes called “the red rag.” When a person is involved in “chewing the rag,” he is really giving his tongue a good workout!
     Dead soldiers. Although Texas is not solely responsible for this phrase, an empty whiskey bottle is often referred to as a “dead soldier.” I have heard that this is because the bottles no longer have spirits.
     Hair of the dog that bit you. All this talk about empty whiskey bottles and a dog’s dander conjured up a memory of associates who, after a night on the town that included bending their elbows at bars and clubs, swore an early-morning drink, which they called “the hair of the dog,” would give them a “pick-me-up.” Turning again to Dictionary of Word Origins, I find that this expression predates Texas by centuries. The ancients believed that one of the best cures for hydrophobia, or any other disease you might obtain from a dog bite, consisted of taking a “hair of the dog that bit you” and placing it in the wound. Although I doubt that many Texans who awoke feeling the pain from the bite of the dog the night before have ever heard the origin of this ancient proverb, there are those who are creative enough to establish their own cure for a hangover.
     Hoe cakes. While many colloquialisms used in Texas may have originated elsewhere, the practice of making hoe cakes was almost exclusively a Southern one. Farm laborers, especially in the cotton fields of the South, made a dough of Indian corn and cooked the bread on the thin, wide blades of the hoes used in the cotton fields. The blades were heated over small mounds of coals left from small fires kindled by field hands.
     Cold hands, warm heart; dirty feet, and no sweetheart. Not one of the typical Texas sayings in my collection seemed as universally known as this poetic bit of counseling. I say “universally” because in a test of folks, mostly women, from diverse regions in the Lone Star State and from various cultural backgrounds, all I had to do was start the rhyme, “cold hands, warm heart,” and with a twinkle in their aging eyes, they spouted the rest as though it had been tattooed on their brains early in life. The people I tested were all over the age of seventy, which seems to nail down the age group most indoctrinated in the phrase’s philosophy.
     Now and then a few men who listened would supply the ending, which further verifies the saying’s universality. Knowing the tendency of mothers to impart beneficial wisdom to their children, I would not at all be surprised if this well-remembered saying was not originally a cleverly conceived technique used to give their offspring, particularly their daughters, a bit of hygienic advice. Well, mothers, it worked! To a woman, each of those with whom I discussed this saying had experienced above-average marriage success.
     It goes against the grain. I never gave this saying much thought until this book became the focus of my life. I knew it meant that something said or done was offensive, but its origin was hard to track down. I finally found out that the allusion here is to a carpenter who, while trying to smooth a board with his plane, goes against the grain of the wood. The result is that instead of smoothing the board, it becomes roughed up. So, too, anything that goes against our grain tends to rough us up.
     Put one's shoulder to the wheel. This phrase, which means to give that extra bit of effort or go beyond what is expected, dates back to the days of stagecoaches. Even though passengers had paid a fee to ride, they were expected to assist in freeing a coach that got stuck in the mud—to “put their shoulders to the wheel” to help free the coach. The phrase has come to mean to put your full weight behind whatever project you are working on.
     He's got an ax to grind. This colloquialism alludes to someone who has an ulterior motive behind his actions. It came into being as a result of a farmer who comes to visit his neighbor, ostensibly just to pass the time of day. After talking for a while, the visitor reveals that he has brought along one of his axes, which he would like to sharpen on the neighbor’s grindstone while they talk.
     I don't care (or give) a hang. This reflects someone who shows total indifference to the consequences. It really means “I don’t care if they hang me!”
     Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Sometimes hot-headed people will direct a vitriolic comment toward an adversary, ending it with this saying, which they believe to mean “I’ve said it. What are you going to do about it?” This alludes to the days when American Indians smoked pipes as they sat around their council fires. It actually means to give consideration to what was said.
     He drinks like a fish. When a person “hits the (liquor) bottle” to excess, why do we say, “He drinks like a fish”? Because a fish swims around with his mouth open, we presume it is constantly drinking.
     Dyed in the wool. When someone has fixed ideas about something, we say, “He is dyed in the wool.” For example, even though my wife has lived and worked in this country for over thirty-five years, she is a dyed-in-the-wool German. Dictionary of Word Origins says, “When woolen cloth is dyed, the color might not be even throughout. But if the dye is applied to the wool before it is spun or woven, all the cloth will be exactly the same shade.”
     The fat's in the fire. Why do we mean there’s trouble ahead when we say, “The fat’s in the fire now”? If we allow the fat to be spilled from the skillet into the fire, the fire will likely blaze up and could burn us. The fat is fuel to an existing flame. If there is already friction between two people, and one does something that is sure to go against the other person’s grain, it is easy to see how this saying would be appropriate.
     Something to crow about. Texas men are a lot like roosters, particularly like gamecocks. When they have something of which they are very proud, their chests puff up like their feathered counterparts until the buttons are about ready to fly off, they strut around like only the cock of the walk can, and then they crow until their lungs nearly burst. In the barnyard, roosters have a way of puffing up their chest feathers until they look twice their actual weight.
     These colorful birds are also responsible for our using the term “well heeled” when talking about someone who is financially well prepared. In the cockpit, fighting roosters are fitted with steel gaffs that are used in place of their natural bone spurs, which are located where their heels would be if they were human. A “well-heeled” rooster is one whose deadly gaffs are used effectively, generally bringing death to his opponent.
     Too many irons in the fire. This saying is especially appropriate for Texas, where branding irons were a part of our romantic culture. From the housewife to the banker, most have said, “I’ve too many irons in the fire.” I think we all know exactly what that means, especially if we are the ones having to juggle the irons! For the origin of this saying, I again refer to Dictionary of Word Origins: “The allusion is to the blacksmith who generally keeps several pieces of iron in the fire in order to always have one ready for his anvil. But if he has too many in the fire at the same time, he can’t watch them and attend to them when they need attention.”
     Don’t leave just yet; I was just about to open a keg of nails. The big question is why anyone would open a keg of nails to entice a visitor to stay. Here, “a keg of nails” is used metaphorically to represent a more appropriate enticement—that also comes in a keg—used to entertain a guest. It could be a keg of beer or a keg of good whiskey. The opening of a keg has always had hospitable implications.
     Let her rip. Interestingly enough, this saying, which means “Let everything go at will,” has taken on a meaning exactly opposite its origin. My references say that this rather boisterous command originated as an insensitive pun on R.I.P. (“Rest in Peace”) found on gravestones, and now means just the opposite.
     Take it with a grain of salt. When someone makes a statement that is questionable, we say, “You’d better take it with a grain of salt.” We know that salt brings out the flavor of something you eat. If you are presented with something that you question and “swallow it whole,” you might recognize the taint. But if you take it with a grain of salt, it enhances its flavor and allows you to better judge its true value.
     Skunked. Texans are very competitive, especially in games. And the state is known for its variety of games—from parlor games like dominos to professional sports like baseball and football. When someone or some team is so soundly outplayed that it doesn’t even score, we say it was skunked. This comes from the feelings of the losing party that it not only has been humiliated but has been done so by a skunk.
     Cry calf-rope. This saying, which is associated with a person’s surrendering or giving up, dates back to at least 1877. My reference materials offer no origin for this phrase, which is equal to “throwing in the towel,” but do relate it to the Southern and Southwestern states. It is a more humiliating way of “crying uncle” as a sign of surrender.
     You can like it or lump it. In other passages of this book, I have stated that Texas sayings seem to be both regional and generational in scope. Some are more widely disseminated than others, possibly because of their popularity. There are others, like this one, that appear to be universally known, not only by age grouping but also by geographical setting. While there are some sayings that are a part of black culture, others are equally in use in both white and black conversation. This saying is one that is just as well known among Texas blacks as whites.
     As a youngster growing up in the 1940s, my friends and I used this saying without fully knowing what it meant, although we knew what we intended it to mean. I have now learned that we were not too far afield. Again referring to Dictionary of Word Origins: “A person’s face will often look ‘lumpy’ after crying.” So “to lump it” is to sulk or look sulky. The saying actually gives the offended party the option of liking it or sulking.
     Dear John, I’m sending your saddle home. The Texas sayings that I have uncovered while assembling this book have reflected sentiments running the emotional gamut from downright comical to mournfully sad. But few, if any, have tugged at the heartstrings of as many people as this well-known Texas letdown. Most of us menfolk who have served in the military have had a comrade-in-arms answer mail call only to receive the dreaded “Dear John” letter from his true love back home. Reduced from its original text to a simple “Dear John,” this letter, announcing the death of what was once a torrid love, originally included the announcement, “I’m sending your saddle home!”
     It would appear that a Texas man may well have sealed his intentions of the heart by presenting the love of his life with a saddle, which is an expensive show of affection. The return of such a gift brought with it the ring of finality to a once serious love affair.
     So small you couldn’t cuss a cat without getting fur in your mouth. This is most often used to bemoan the size of one’s room or house. It would indeed be a small space that caused you to get fur in your mouth if you and your cat were in the room together!
     Mean as a snake. A person described with these words would surely have a streak of meanness. Few things on earth are as hated as snakes and they are considered mean, although they tend not to be aggressive unless disturbed first. This saying is based more on one’s perception of a snake than the snake’s attitude.
     Hot as blue blazes. A blaze is a blaze, most people think, but scientists tell us that the hottest blaze is the blue flame of a natural gas stove. So when something is “hot as blue blazes,” it is really hot!
     There was enough food to feed Cox’s (or Coxey’s) Army. Often when an overabundance of food was prepared for an occasion, our parents were prone to say, “We have enough food to feed Cox’s Army.” This saying was born out of a demonstration organized by Jacob Coxey during the depression of the 1890s. Mr. Coxey gathered 100 unemployed men and marched with them on Washington, D.C., to plead for the enactment of a road improvement program that would provide employment for many of the nation’s unemployed. By the time Coxey arrived in Washington, his “army” had swelled to 500 men and about 40 reporters who gave the march much coverage. Thus, when an abundance of something, especially food, was on hand, folks used a reference to this demonstration to emphasize the quantity. “Cox” and “Coxey” are used interchangeably.